Looking Forward to 2013!

2011 and 2012 were years of focusing on bad health. I focused on my "former" life of being a healthy social worker. I focused on what I used to do and what I no longer couldn't. I can say, those two years were the worst of my life. Having to leave my job because of health was one of the most depressing moments of my life. But there's nothing I can do to go back in time and change it. These are the cards I've been dealt and I'm at peace with who I am.

I feel really great about 2013. I am looking forward to acceptance and focusing on the positive things in life. I'm ready to move forward.

Truth is, we're all dealing with something. Whether it's health, financial, mental, etc. we all have some challenge and burden in our life. But, we don't have to be defined by it. Focus on that which we can do something about.

Happy 2013 everyone!

My Latest Affirmation

My latest affirmation: I am not my illness, I am me, I am exactly as I am to be. Yes, I have fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis disease, depression and migraines, but I am much more than that. I remember a time where that's all that I identified with. I focused on the daily yuck of living with chronic illness versus focusing on the positive things in life. For anyone to believe that they don't have anything positive to say, they're wrong. The mere fact that you're breathing is positive, so focus on that, versus the level 8 pain, the constant throbbing and aching, and the other disabling symptoms that we've grown accustomed to. Of course we hurt, we have fibro, arthritis etc., but we don't have to let that be our definition.

I also know that it's easier for me to focus on the positive because I'm a very private person. I really don't like sharing how I feel, especially if it's negative. I honestly don't think people want to know about it and it does me no good to focus on that which I cannot change. I know it's very easy to get in the habit of being negative and focusing on the daily suck that life with chronic illness can bring. I get it, life can be really crappy sometimes, all the time, if you let it. I am also not polly anna and think that just by having a positive attitude will make you better. I hate when people profess that a positive outlook will "cure" you. Being positive  doesn't cure, but it sure as hell is a better way to live than complaining all the time. I am often amazed, and saddened, when I see people complain all the time. I honestly think those people would complain if they won a million dollars; complain that it wasn't two million!

I also realize we all deal with life differently. Maybe some feel relief when they complain? I know some people don't have much of a support system at home so they may feel complaining online is a way to vent and release some tension. I suppose however you feel relief, go with it. But I feel better when I'm positive. I feel like these are the cards I've been dealt and I will manage it the best I can.

Favorite Cookie Recipe

I've been baking several batches of chocolate chip cookies and have decidedly found my most favorite recipe! You can find the recipe by going to Plain Chicken; why a vegan is searching around a website with that name, I'm not sure. Truth is, I was googling away and came across a Bisquick recipe and have since made the cookies and wow, yummy!

Here is the recipe, cut and pasted from the Plain Chicken, which I slightly tweaked:

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar, packed
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 egg (I didn't have an egg replacer/substitute, so I used water and oil)
2 3/4 cups Bisquick baking mix
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (6 oz)
1/2 cup nuts, chopped, if desired (optional)

Heat oven to 375°F. In large bowl, mix butter, sugar, vanilla and egg. Stir in Bisquick mix, chocolate chips and nuts. Drop dough by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet, drop about 2 inches apart; flatten slightly. Bake 8-10 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from cookie sheet to cooling rack.

They're incredibly easy to make and even easier to eat! Warning, these cookies are amazingly addictive. So, for all you ladies looking to gain weight this holiday season, you're welcome! 

My Thankful List

Today is Thanksgiving, so I want to focus on those things that I am grateful and thankful for. Here are my top ten:

1. I am very thankful for having a supportive husband. Since my diagnosis of fibro, and other chronic illnesses, he has been 100% supportive and caring to me.

2. I am very thankful for the love from my family. I know many people who have fibro, or a chronic illness, receive negativity from their family. I am very grateful I have not experienced that.

3. I am very thankful for the love of my three furbabies. I don't have human children, but my cats melt my heart. I am very grateful to have them in my life.

4. I am very thankful for having wonderful and supportive doctors. Everyone, regardless of a health issue, should have compassionate doctors.

5. I am very thankful for my online support community, specifically on twitter. Since I no longer work, it's become a savior for social outreach.

6. I am very thankful for having a nice apartment with some great amenities. Even before I stopped working, I was a homebody. I much prefer to stay at home and watch a movie or TV shows, than to go to a bar.

7. I am very thankful for living in a city where there are lots of food options, specifically because being a vegan can be challenging. I live within minutes of grocery stores, including Whole Foods.

8. I am very thankful for my hobbies that keep my mind active, including cooking, being the "tv lady", and reading, to name a few.

9. I am very thankful to God for giving me love and strength. God keeps me positive and the closer I am to God, the better I feel about life.

10. I am very thankful for the health that I do have. I tend to not focus on the negative and what's wrong with me. Of course, I have bad days, lots of them, but I could be so much worse. I am very grateful that my illnesses will not kill me, I have much to look forward to in life.

I think we all need to focus on what we are grateful and thankful for every day of the year, not just Thanksgiving. But, it's a great day to focus on that which makes us happy.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Woodrow, The Love Bug

Woodrow, the Love Bug

9NOV

A week ago today, my sweet 15 year old cat, Woodrow, was diagnosed with lymphoma. He was being very lethargic, losing a lot of weight and overall, not eating or enjoying the things he used to. Woodrow, or as we call him Woody, has been in my life for roughly 13 years now. I was single at the time and wanted to find a black kitten, so I went searching. I finally came to this feline rescue center that had about 15 cats in cages. Woody was at the very end of the aisle and had a blanket draped over his cage, I still don’t understand why. When they removed the curtain, I saw my baby. As you can see, he is not black. He is a pretty shade of orange, almost like a little creamcicle color. He was rubbing the cage with his face and they asked if I wanted to hold him, of course I said yes! He immediately purred and smelled me and I knew he was mine. I quickly realized that Woody was a little love bug, in fact, the vet that the rescue place used nicknamed him as love bug. He grooms not only himself, but other cats and people. The entire night he would lick my leg, although it felt weird, I knew he was just being a sweetheart.

Anyone that meets Woody knows he’s a sweet heart, love bug. Oddly enough, about 3 months after Woody came home with me, we heard a cry at our door and it was a black kitten! He is all black with a little patch of white on his neck, so he’s named Tux. Tux is also a love bug, but very shy. Woody groomed him from the first day he arrived. They have been great brothers since. We also now have Chase, our little adorable tuxedo short hair bully, sigh.

Woody has been taking prednisone for a week now and he’s doing awesome! I admit, when I heard that he had lymphoma, my heart was devastated, it still is. But I told him that if he was in any pain to let go. I don’t want him in pain and staying here just for his mommy. But since he’s been on the pred, he’s back to his old self. He’s purring, playful, and eating much more. I am cautiously optimistic that he is going to stay this way, but I know he’s getting older and my role as a mom is to make his life peaceful and happy.

I love you Woody with all my heart.

*Previously posted on my former wordpress blog. 

Fancy Thanksgiving

Fancy Thanksgiving by theladynicole featuring glitter flats

Vivienne Westwood Anglomania metallic dress
my-wardrobe.com

Faith Connexion peplum jacket
intermixonline.com

RED Valentino glitter flat
net-a-porter.com

Givenchy cuff bracelet
barneys.com

Kate Spade post earrings
nordstrom.com

Lipstick Queen matte lipstick
barneys.com

Fun Saturday with Family

This weekend I visited my family who lives two hours south of where I currently live. I had a great day hanging with my mom, sister, nephews and their girlfriends. I had a rough week prior, so it was nice getting away and visiting. Where I live now, I don't have any family near me. In fact, I don't really have any friends here either. I am pretty isolated since I don't work and rarely get out of my apartment. I see my doctors routinely, but other than that, my husband and I will go out to eat on occasion, otherwise I'm home. It has nothing to do with being agoraphobic or being afraid of crowds; which is farthest from the truth. In fact, Saturday was the annual homecoming parade in my hometown and the girls always get together to watch. If I were afraid of crowds, you certainly wouldn't find me there!

Mississippi River, near the new casino. 

After the parade, we went to lunch and it was delicious! We had mexican, which is probably my favorite food, I had their homemade guacamole and salsa. I could eat that every single day! After lunch we went to several antique and clothing stores. I didn't buy anything, but found a cute window screen that I was going to buy, it was only $5, however the store didn't allow debits under $25, so I didn't get it. I rarely carry cash. After the stores, we drove to where the new casino was being built, in fact, it's going to open next month. We decided that we would all dress up in fancy dresses and have a night on the town and go there. That would be a lot of fun. Afterwards, we returned to my mom's house and looked through some old photos. Overall, it was a great day. The weather and company were just perfect. When the day was over, I told my mom that it was days like this that I really think about moving back home. There is really nothing keeping me where I'm at now. Later that night, my sister texted me saying she wishes I would move back, before I had even mentioned my thoughts to do so. I have to work on my husband to see how he feels. I think, overall, we both would enjoy it. We would have family support and there would be more reason for me to get out of the apartment more. We're currently in a lease until August, so there's plenty of time to make the decision. Like any decision, there are pros and cons to consider. We have lots of time to figure it out.